


Worth The Wait

by ObsidianRomance



Series: Hemophobes and Hemophiliacs [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 09:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a hemophiliac who doesn't really see any type of normalcy coming his way until he falls flat on his butt on the sidewalk and hemophobic Jensen comes to his rescue.</p><p>The story was based on the following prompt by goldenboat but it went a little haywire:<br/>Jared is pregnant. He is usually the nicest guy of the world. But when he goes into labor, the dilation process is excruciatingly slow and the labor drags for almost three days. Jared becomes extremely agitated and ends up swearing a lot at everyone including his partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mention of mpreg, blood disorder, bleeding, schmoop, h/c, angst, mico-porn (the porn is portrayed in snippets, it has bottom!Jared, oral, and blink-and-you-miss-it mention of bottom!Jensen)  
> Word Count: 4,500  
> Rating: HARD R  
> Beta: tsubasalove87

When Jared met Jensen, it wasn’t exactly the fairytale of love at first sight.

Mostly because Jared was hemorrhaging on the sidewalk and Jensen was trying to make heads or tails of what just happened.

Jensen looked like he might pass out because blood was streaming way too quickly down Jared’s arm and showed no signs of stopping.

It hadn’t been Jensen’s fault that Jared’s vision was going hazy from blood loss, it was that nameless asshole who knocked Jared to the ground and took off without bothering to see if the man he slammed into was okay.  In a normal situation, it would have been

But Jared wasn’t normal.  And when Jensen, being the good civilian that he was, stopped to help a fellow pedestrian, Jared was sure Jensen had no idea what he was getting into.

“Christ!  Are you okay?”  Jensen dropped to his knees and reached tentative hands towards Jared’s exposed wound.  “Oh my god…”  His hands made a jerky reach forward and then retreat, unsure of if he should touch Jared or back away from him.

“I…umm,”  Jared shook his head and looked at his arm.  “Ohh, shit.”  His stomach dropped slightly, the nervous feeling that always accompanied a bleed creeping in and making him think the worst.  “I…”

“That asshole hit you that hard?”  Jensen swore under his breath but still looked lost as what to do.  Eyes flashing over the bright crimson of the blood, he swallowed hard.  “I’m going to call 911.”

“No, I...It’s okay.”  Jared remembered how to move his muscles and fumbled to reach for his messenger bag.  In the fall it had tumbled just out of his reach.  “The bag.  Can you…”

“Wha?”  Jensen followed Jared’s line of vision and nodded, reaching for the bag’s strap.  “Ohh, yeah.  Here.”  He watched Jared dig through the contents of the bag with shaky hands.  “Hey, man…you don’t look okay.  You’re bleeding faster, I think maybe…”

“No.  It’s okay.  I’m a hemophiliac.”  Biting the corner of his lip, Jared searched more intensely.

“Hemo-wha?”

“Hemophiliac.  Moderate.  I don’t clot and I bleed easily.”  Finding what he was looking for, Jared thrust the bag back towards Jensen.  “Here.”  He tore open the packet of Celox he had found and pressed the medicated towelette to the wound.

Jensen looked shell shocked as he watched Jared work, stupid words coming out of his mouth before realizing how childish they sounded.  “Are you going to die?”  He blushed suddenly and tried to regain some type of respectable composure.

Jared hissed as he increased the pressure at which he applied the medicine.  Despite the pain, despite the nagging fear of the unknown that he was living in, Jared laughed at Jensen.  He didn’t laugh because of Jensen’s question itself, but because it had been a question he had asked himself every time he bled since he was a child.  Only in adulthood did he realize the ridiculousness of asking it after every bleed.  But still, habits die hard and he found himself pondering the thought _every_ time.  “No, I’m not going to die.”  He looked down at his arm and watched the towelette turn crimson as it slowly staunched the flow of blood.

Clearing his throat, Jensen lessened his hand’s vice grip on Jared’s bag.  He hadn’t realized he was squeezing so tightly until his knuckles hurt.  “Oh...that’s good.  I didn’t really have a dead body scheduled in my day.”

Jared laughed again.  For the first time in years the panic that went hand and hand with his bleeds cleared and he was able to push past it.  “Nope.  Not dying…well, not today anyhow.”

Jensen laughed courteously before they fell into an awkward silence.  Jensen twitched, unsure when his role in his good deed was played and he could leave.  “So, you’re okay then.”

“As okay as I get…yeah.”  Jared removed the towelette, balked at the still dribbling blood, and quickly replaced it.  “Damn kid.  He should have been watching where he was going.  Granted, didn’t realize he would run into Hemo-man over here.”

Jensen’s stomach rolled as his vision was assaulted by too much red in such a short time.  “Are you sure I can’t do anything else?  Call someone?  Someplace?”

“Nah, I’m good.  This is a pretty normal Thursday.”

“Sure?”  Not quite believing the man, Jensen got to his feet but hesitated in moving.

“Well, you could help me up.”  Jared’s head was still spinning a little from his sudden meeting with the pavement and subsequent blood flow.

“I could do that.”  Reaching out a hand, the standing man smiled.  “I’m Jensen.”

“Jared.  Nice to meet you.”  He took Jensen’s offered hand and let the man hoist him to his feet.  As soon as he was standing, he wobbled and fell into Jensen’s arms.

Jensen’s eyes went wide as he pressed forward to support Jared’s weight.  “Woah, hey!  Maybe you are not quite ready to try standing yet.”

Jared gave a shaky apologetic smile, tried to hold his own weight up, failed and fell back against Jensen.  “Guess not.”

Jensen lowered Jared to the sidewalk again.  “Easy.”  This time he took a seat beside him.  They were attracting a crowd, but none of the onlookers seemed to have the courage to speak up.  “Let’s try sitting for a while.”

Taking a deep breath, Jared refocused his vision.  “Hey, you don’t have to stick around.  I’ll be okay in a bit.”  Rubbing nervously at the back of his neck, Jared took in Jensen’s attire, dress slacks and shirt, tie but no jacket.  “You look like you’ve somewhere you need to be, I don’t want to hold you up.”

Jensen drew his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on them, sitting more like a teenager than a professional.  “Not really.  My office closed early due to a water pipe leak.”

“Oh.”  Jared sighed and gave Jensen a thorough look over.  He good stuck on Jensen’s lips and the way the man stuck the tip of his tongue out to lip over them.  Voice barely above a deep whisper, “Lucky for me.”

Jensen caught Jared’s stare, and narrowed his eyes knowingly.  “Yeah, lucky for you.”  He quirked his lips to the side in thought.  Jared looked a little pale, movements still slow from what just happened.  His t-shirt was stained with blood, but his jeans were still clean and there was a clean black hoodie thrown next to his messenger bag.  And idea bloomed in his mind and he grabbed hold of it before he lost his nerve.  “Do you want to maybe get something to eat?  You look a little weak right now, and the dinner around the corner makes the type of chicken soup that always makes me feel better.”

Almost too quickly, Jared jumped at a response.  “Yeah.”  Composing himself, Jared coughed once.  “I mean, yes, that sounds nice.  And something sweet.”

And one bowl of soup, a shared order of fries, and large piece of double fudge cake later, it turned from awkward first meeting to love at “3 hours after” first sight.

************

Dating a hemophiliac was something Jared knew wasn’t easy.

t wasn’t like Jared would break, but it was very likely that he would bleed out on the kitchen floor from a paper cut.

Okay, not really, but Jared had developed a flare for the dramatics since he started to understand his disorder.  Extreme exaggeration helped him deal with the seriousness of his condition.  If he always thought the worst, then every outcome would seem better in comparison

Most people thought he was dead pan funny.  What no one really knew about Jared is that his humor was an opaque bandage that covered the open wound of knowing his life would never be as easy as others.

It came with the thought that there was something in him, or rather, lack of something in him, that would take away parts of his life – or his life – before he got to live them.

No one was able to see through that, not even his parents, who thought he just had phenomenal coping mechanisms.  

Until Jensen.

Until Jensen came blowing into his life and unearthed every insecurity and compensation technique Jared used.

Jensen, who hated blood but loved Jared.

But it hadn’t been easy.

It was easy for the first few weeks.  But when Jared got a nose bleed that he couldn’t stop himself and bleed all over Jensen on the way to the hospital, Jared was sure Jensen would think being with Jared was more than he bargained for.

What made Jensen different than anyone Jared had interacted with is that he didn’t pretend that Jared’s hemophilia was something that shouldn’t be talked about, that it was a secret to shove under the rug.  Instead, he treated it like another part of Jared that should be embraced.  Jensen saw it as something that made Jared different, and not just biologically.  It made his personality different and Jensen thought that made Jared worth sticking with, even as he bled all over Jensen’s new white shirt.

Jensen wanted to understand hemophilia rather than simply being okay with it.

He got a book.

He read the book.

Jared found himself explaining less and relating more.  Jensen got it.  His stomach still got queasy from talk of blood, but he coped.  Jensen saw past the disease and Jared found himself letting love in and opening his true self to someone else for the first time.

With Jensen around, it made taking his medication easier.

It was stupid but sometimes Jared got so caught up in being ‘normal’ that he forgot to take pills on time or to take pills all together.

With Jensen, Jared got caught up in being himself.  He rarely forgot anymore, but even if he did, Jensen had ways to subtly remind him.

He wore his bruises like badges instead of the basis for a joke.

He and Jensen learned how to maneuver around each other, how to touch each other, and how to make sure the lack of a clotting factor wouldn’t get between them.

So, dating went smoother.

Sex was a whole other option

It wasn’t that Jared didn’t want it.  He _wanted_ it.  But since he was old enough to figure out what sex was and that he was gay, it scared Jared to the core

Even when being careful, penetrative sex was bound to put some type of strain on his body.  So no matter how much he wanted it, Jared skated around the issue, leaving it as the one insecurity that Jensen hasn’t unearthed yet.

With Jensen pawing at him with soft but meaningful touches, Jared had no idea how he was going to get himself out of this predicament without coming clean.  Jensen’s hard, rutting up against his thigh and panting with need in his ear.

For a second, Jared lost himself to the kiss, moaning and swiping his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth.  He heart stuttered in his chest and pumped his dysfunctional blood to his groin rather than his brain.  When he was little, Jared used to worry that since his blood “didn’t work right” he wouldn’t be able to get a hard on because he thought blood vessels would burst and the whole scene would become a b-movie porno horror story.  He was happy to find out he was wrong because he was hard and ready and dying for Jensen to get his hands lower.

When Jensen almost telepathically made good on that wish, Jared froze.  They had been together for months, but they had been moving so slow that this was actually the closest they got to being more physical than kissing and rutting against each other.

“Jay, what?”  Flushed, Jensen pulled away.

“Ohh, Jensen,  I…”  Jared bit his lip and furrowed his brow.  Wanting to avoid this conversation, Jared pitched forward, knocking Jensen off balance and landing the man on his back on the couch, Jared straddling him with his thighs.  He surrendered to the urge to kiss the man’s plush lips silly.  Moaning, he nipped at Jensen’s bottom lip, sucking it in gently before flicking his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and coaxing the man back into a kiss.

Their actions went on for a while before Jensen gently, but firmly, placed two hands on Jared’s shoulders and shoved him away.  “As much as I love all this, it isn’t an answer to what was going on before.”

Heart pounding too fast from the way Jensen tasted, Jared was feeling hazy.  He knew Jensen was right and he fell back onto his heels, sitting his rear on Jensen’s shins.  “This is going to sound weird….like I’m a fucking kid…”

“You’re not a kid Jared.  I know just how much of a man you are.”  Jensen bucked up playfully to break the tension before scrambling back slightly and rising up into a semi-seated position against the couch’s armrest.  He watched Jared’s face go serious.  “Hey.”  Reaching up, he hooked his fingers in the waist of Jared’s jeans and tugged him closer.  “You can tell me.”

Swallowing,  Jared set his features, determined to get this discussion out of the way.  “I’ve never…you know…done any of this before.  I mean, usually with the whole blood thing…people kind of go running for the hills once I end up looking like a blood splatter analysis’s wet dream.”

Snorting a laugh, Jensen smiled.  “I figured all that Jared.  You’re kind of an open book now.”

“You did?  I am?”

“Yeah.  To me at least.”

“Well, I…It’s just...I never had sex because I am afraid of bleeding if you…you know,” he shifted uncomfortably, “fuck me.”

Jensen’s only answer with a laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me.”  Jared crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look indignant.

“Jay, you are one in a million.”

“One in 50,000 actually.  But close enough.”

“Don’t use your hemophiliac statistics against me.  You know I didn’t mean it that way.”  Jensen pushed up into a sitting position and ran a hand over Jared’s thigh.  “And I am not necessarily laughing at you.  I’m laughing at what you said.  You _do_ know there are a lot of other ways to have sex, right?”

“Yeah, I-I know, but...”

“Do you trust me?”  Placing a quick kiss to Jared’s pout, Jensen pulled away and smirked deviously.

“Yeah, Jen, of course I do.  I wouldn’t have even told you that if I didn’t.”

“And you want that?  The sex, I mean.”

“Yeah, oh god, yeah Jensen.  My fist needs a break, besides,” Jared gave a heated stare, “I’m sure you’re much better.”

“Then, hang on.”  Jensen shifted so fast that Jared barely had time to keep up.  Suddenly Jensen was on his knees, tugging him with just enough effort to prevent bruising, and situated himself in a kneel between Jared’s splayed legs.  He had Jared’s pants yanked open and down, and within moments, before Jared could protest, had Jared’s semi-hard length in his warm, wet, mouth. “Jensen!  Oh…oh shit…what are you? Oh, fuck, Jen!”  Jared’s eyes fluttered back as he groaned.  Jensen’s mouth felt deliciously hot, the man’s velvety tongue tracing the thickening organ and teasing him.  “Holy shit, Jensen, that’s good.”  He tried not to buck, biting his lip with the effort.

Jensen gave a satisfied hum around Jared’s dick and pulled off with a sloppy ‘pop’ sound, grinning at Jared.  “Go ahead, Jay.  Enjoy yourself.”  He bobbed his head back down, swallowing Jared whole and loving every sound the action elicited from Jared’s mouth.

“Oh yeah…”  Jared’s voice drew out into a breathy moan.  He pumped his hips up to meet Jensen’s movements and moaned louder when Jensen took the movement in stride.  It felt better than he ever let himself think about it.  And, minutes later, he practically screamed out in relief and pleasure when blood never factored into his orgasm.  The only thing flooding Jensen’s mouth was hot pulses of Jared’s come and the realization that sex was very _doable_.

It was so _doable_ that Jared had a hard time remembering why he was scared in the first place.

Jensen was patient enough to take things slow, to try everything from hands, to mouths, to thighs.  And Jensen was more than willing to let Jared go down at him, taking things slower and more gently than when Jensen gave Jared his first blow job, but it was just as rewarding.  So rewarding that Jared insisted on doing it often, you know, because he figured no one could practice _too_ much.

And weeks later, when Jared found the courage to finally try penetrative sex, Jensen came to his rescue again let them go slow, letting Jared top.

It felt…normal.

Like something he thought he would never have.

And then, like most of his life in the last few months, he suddenly had it.

The last thing he was thinking about was his blood disorder when he lost himself to the feeling of being inside Jensen’s body and the needy grasp Jensen had on his shoulders as the man pulled him down for a kiss.

It was amazing, having Jensen like that.  It was a feeling and memory he held onto when he was sitting on the bathroom floor nursing his latest bleed.  It was his happy place when his joints hurt so bad he couldn’t move

It was just the right amount of trust he needed to want to brave bottoming for Jensen.  He wanted it badly; his fingers twitched at the thought.  His knees went weak.  After a home cooked dinner, Jared dragged Jensen into his bedroom and set to making good on his want.

It was a frustratingly, painfully, slow process.  Jared was sure that there wasn’t a more thorough person on planet earth as Jensen.  His boyfriend, always one for research, made sure there was no way Jared would get even a hint of a bleed.  They had tried fingers and toys before, but they were nothing compared to the solid dimensions of Jensen’s dick.

The preparation went on for hours, Jensen bringing Jared over the brink, letting him orgasm to take the edge off.

They took other preparations as well.  Jared had revealed that he was a carrier months ago, just another little perk of hitting some weird genetic lottery.  They had a lifetime supply of condoms and lube.  Bleeding out during sex was one nightmare, getting pregnant was another one entirely.  That was one very scary, very long bridge that they would cross when, and if, their relationship progressed to that point.

And with slow, tender movements, Jensen hooked Jared’s legs around his waist, careful to make sure he could keep a watchful eye on Jared’s face to gauge the man’s comfort level.  He nudged inside slowly, working Jared open on his length, sinking in to the hilt for the first time.  Jensen’s heart almost exploded at the way Jared mewled in pleasure, a desire finally fulfilled.

“You okay, Jay?”  Jensen stilled completely, willing to wait as long as Jared needed.

“I’m…I’m…”  Jared’s breath hitched and he closed his eyes for a moment.  “I’m perfect.  This is perfect.”  He arched up, sealing his lips to Jensen’s, the kiss making it impossible for him to get his breathing under control.  Instead, he gave into it, falling into ragged panting, lust making all his nerve endings tingle.

Jensen smiled against Jared’s lips, cupped his jaw, and kissed him more intensely.  “I love you.”

Jared’s eyes popped open in shock.  He knew it was true, but he’d never heard the words.  They didn’t need words to tell each other that.  Their actions spoke volumes.  “You…?”

“I do.  I love you.  So much that it hurts.”  Jensen made a slow retreat of his hips before pushing back in at the same speed.

“Jen…”  Jared’s brain was careening.  He clutched Jensen tighter, kissing him with strong increments of pressing their lips together.  “Show me Jensen.  Show me how much you love me.  I need you too, because…I love you too.”  He shivered at the realization.

“You scared?”

“Of you?  Of loving you?”  Shaking his head, Jared spoke in hushed tones.  “No.  I’m scared of lots of things, of blood and…things…but I’m not scared of you.  You’re not going to let me bleed out, right?”

“Nope. _Never_.”  Jensen’s movements sped up, giving a distinct rhythm to the gentle glide of his hips.

“Then prove it.”  Jared’s body exploded with a burst of pleasure as Jensen brushed the right spots inside of him.  “Move.”

Eyes love drunk and movements languid, Jensen listened.  He moved, and thrust, and fisted Jared’s length with just the right mixture of caution and pleasure.

In the end, Jared was a sprawled out mess of orgasmic bliss on the mattress.  The only thing dampening the sheets was their sweat and come.  There might be bruises in the morning but Jared would wear them like medals because they were proof of another milestone they’d overcome.

***********

The thing that always set Jensen on edge was when Jared landed himself in the hospital and needed a blood transfusion.

Jared had lived with the risks of blood transfusions his whole life.  He wasn’t numb to it but he was resigned to his fate.  Jensen couldn’t swallow the fact that as a hemophiliac who over went more transfusions than average, Jared was subject to potentially receive contaminated blood.

Jared had every immunization under the sun, but there were still risks.

So when a common nose bleed quickly became and out of control bleed and Jared was home alone in the apartment he now shared with Jensen, he knew a hospital trip was inevitable.  Standing too quickly, the blood loss made him dizzy and he stumbled, taking a nice chunk out of his thigh on the fall.

Celox wasn’t going to cut it this time.

The ambulance responded quickly, so did Jensen when he met Jared at the hospital.  Jared was covered in blood, darks stains streaking his face and neck and he was sure Jensen was going to pass out or vomit.

Instead, he started crying.

He didn’t stop, not truly, until the hospital staff had Jared stitched up, cleaned up, and hooked up to his latest transfusion of type O negative blood.

“Jen, I’m okay.”  Exhausted, Jared rubbed weary eyes.  He wanted to sleep but he wanted Jensen to say something more.

“You can have my blood, you know.  You can…It’s safer.  I’m O negative too, you know that.  Just…maybe, I can donate a bunch of blood for you and keep it banked here at the hospital.”  Jensen looked up with an emotionally exhausted huff.

“That’s expensive Jen, I can’t afford it.  My insurance…I…”

“I can pay for it.  I don’t like you getting other people’s blood.  I don’t like that you _need_ other people to survive.  It…it kills me Jared.”  Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jensen toyed with the sheet on Jared’s hospital cot.

Jared’s heart thudded, guilt at being the reason from Jensen’s look running thick in his veins and mingling with some unknown donors blood.  Fear reared his ugly head, the thought that Jensen might have hit the end of his ability to be in this relationship.  “I told you that sometimes being with me wouldn’t be a walk in the park.”

“That’s not what I mean Jared.”  Jensen shifted his chair closer, metal legs dragging with a cringe-worthy noise.  “It’s scary Jared.  Seeing you like this.  Seeing your fate at the hands of doctors and strangers and chance.  And I wasn’t even there.  I couldn’t….If you….Jared, I wouldn’t survive.”  Taking a deep breath to gather strength to continue, Jensen licked his dry lips.  “ _I’m_ scared Jared.  I’m scared.”

Jared couldn’t formulate a response.  There was none.  He blinked as Jensen clutched onto his left hand and toyed with it awkwardly.

“Jared, I’m not leaving.  But you can’t either.  Okay?”  Jensen waited for Jared to nod dumbly.  “Marry me Jared.”  He released Jared’s hand, pointer finger giving a quick thump to the ring – ring? – now on Jared’s ring finger.

“Wha’?”  Jared’s eyes went wide, exhaustion parting with a shot of adrenaline.  “Jensen, what…?”

“I was going to ask you later, before you decided to be all dramatic and lose a pint of blood.  You just had to upstage me, huh?”  Jensen laughed nervously, fidgeting in apprehension.

“You want to marry me?”  Blinking at the solid platinum band on his finger, Jared’s brain went haywire.

“Yeah.  I do.  Very much so.”

And in a hospital room, surrounded by machines, blood and the disorder that started the whole thing, Jared said yes.

************

They got married, which was blissfully uneventful. Being married to a hemophiliac turned out to be very similar to dating a hemophiliac.  They had already been living together for a year, Jensen was already accustomed to Jared's idiosyncrasies, and Jared had already built Jensen into every aspect of his life.

Jensen made good on his word and willing donated his blood to store at the hospital should Jared need it.  He pretended like it was no big deal but Jared insisted on going with him the first, second, and third times.  After Jensen almost pass out from seeing the blood flow from the needle in his arm and down the thin tubing, Jared decided he better go with Jensen _every_ time Jensen felt brave enough to donate blood.

He made it up to Jensen in lots of ways, the first way being their now traditional visit to the diner for triple fudge cake after each donation.  The other way took place in private, far away from the friendly wait staff at the dinner who knew Jared and Jensen by name.  It was a way that reaffirmed to their neighbors that Jared and Jensen also knew each other’s names.  They knew them very, very, _very_ well.

Married, with only his own and Jensen’s blood running through his veins, Jared had to admit he felt pretty good.

He was in a good place.

His doctors couldn’t say so on record but they credited his lower instances of bleeding to the fact that his attitude had greatly improved over the years.  Happiness had unpredictable powers and right now it left Jared in an ideal situation.

I gave him the courage to take a risk he had been talking over with his doctors.

He did his own research before working Jensen up over the revelation.   Jensen was a necessary role in this plan, so he knew he had to bring him up to speed once he felt comfortable with the idea himself.

So, after dinner and a beer, Jared perched himself on the corner of their kitchen table, making sure to face Jensen dead on.

“Jen, I wanna have a baby.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mpreg!Jared, blood disorder, bleeding, schmoop, h/c, angst, cursing, GRAPHIC birth.  
> Word Count: 6,700  
> Rating: R  
> Beta: tsubasalove87

Jared wakes up with a weird twitch in his side.

That fact isn’t all that unusual, he has been uncomfortable lately.  His and Jensen’s twins are running out of room, and when they shift he _feels_ it because they are awfully cramped in there.

Stretching awkwardly, he feels the twitch again and he fumbles in an attempt to get out of bed so he can walk around and lessen up his muscles.  He fails, body too clumsy with child to get any type of momentum to get out of the bed.  Snorting, he blows a piece of his hair out of his face and surrenders to lying down for a couple more minutes.

Carrying twins around isn’t all that easy, but he’s glad he’s getting two babies in one shot.  His doctors were only going to let him go through a pregnancy once, and he’s glad fate found a way for him and Jensen to have the two children they’ve both wanted.

He feels like the luckiest person in the whole world.

It is the hardest thing Jared has ever done, but it is amazing at the same time.

Every time he feels one of the babies move, he is floored.  They are not even born yet and they are already his greatest accomplishment.

Looking at the clock, he knows he has to get up.  Despite being uncomfortable himself, the bed is warm and Jensen is breathing softly beside him.  What waits for him outside of the bed room is a 30 minute home administered I.V. drip of medication to keep the levels in his blood stable enough to maintain a pregnancy.

The routine doesn’t even faze him anymore.  It’s been his life twice a week since he found out he was pregnant.

Snuggling in for five more minutes of escape from the risks of his pregnancy, Jared sighs.

Despite his doctors being hesitant, despite Jensen being and over the top mother hen, having a baby is what Jared wanted

When they started trying, Jared thought for sure that everyone involved in the process was certain that none of his pregnancies would be viable, that the increased blood flow in his body and pressure on his joints would cause internal bleeding and a spontaneous miscarriage.

Only, it didn’t.

Jared showed them up by not only getting pregnant and staying pregnant, but by shocking the ultrasound technician when she realized the fact that there were two babies.

One baby was complicated enough.  Two was rolling the dice.

Jared was on so many medications, both intravenous and oral, that the names started to sound like gibberish.

But now, he is 35 weeks pregnant and still doing good.  He is banking on the power of positive thoughts to get him through the rest of the ordeal because, as he has been warned, the rest of the ordeal isn’t going to be pretty.  It’s the part that everyone is on edge about.

They have to get the babies out without Jared bleeding out.  It is a scary thought that Jared can’t worry about right now.  He needs to take things one at a time and priority one is keeping the twins safe and growing.

"Hey, Jared?  Baby?  You okay?”  Jensen snuffles in his slow waking and rolls over to spoon up behind Jared.  He nuzzles his nose in the base of Jared’s hair and inhales deeply.

“I’m good.  Just thinking.”

“What ‘cha thinking about?”  Jensen curls one arm protectively around Jared’s gravid middle.  “These guys?”

“Yeah.”  Speaking with uncertainty, Jared holds onto Jensen’s hand for reassurance.  “Do you think they are going to be okay?  I mean, I know the girl is probably fine…that she doesn’t have my disorder.  But the boy?  There is a 50/50 chance I gave him it…”

Kissing the back of Jared’s neck softly, Jensen nudges closer.  “They are going to be fine either way.  You know that, right?  Even if our son does have Hemophilia, he’s going to be okay.  You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, but…I would feel guilty if I subjected him to that.  Like I’m selfish.”

Jensen snorts.  “Jared, you are the least selfish person I know.  And if he is a hemophiliac, then he’ll have you.  He’ll be just like you, and you are the most amazing person I know.”

“You’re saying that because I am hormonal and might kill you if you thought otherwise.”  Jared laughs to deflect his worries.

“Nope.  I’m saying it because it’s true.  Because you need to know that we can handle either of those scenarios.  They’re going to be exactly the way they should be.”  Jensen gives Jared a gentle squeeze before arching up to read the bedside clock.  “Don’t you have to do your Helixate transfusion this morning?”

“Yeah, I’m going.”  He flushes quickly.  “I tried to get up earlier but…I got stuck in bed.”

“You got stuck in…?  Aww Jay.”  Letting out a tiny laugh, Jensen smiles.

“Don’t laugh.”

Heedless of the warning, Jensen laughs louder.  “Aww baby, did our kids throw you off balance again.”

Pouting, Jared sticks his tongue out, not earning him any more dignity.  “Shut up.”

Sliding out of bed, Jensen gets to his feet and walks around to Jared’s side, holding out his hands towards him.  “Come on preggo.  Let’s get you medicated.”

“I’m letting you help me right now for _their_ sake.”  Jared’s mock annoyance falls away almost as quickly as he put it up when he reaches out for Jensen’s hands.

“I’m sorry Jared.”  He helps him walk to a rocking chair in the freshly painted nursery where they have set up a makeshift home I.V. administration area.  “How about I make you an omelet while you take care of these two?”  Jensen gives a gentle pat to Jared’s middle.

Stomach grumbling, Jared’s mood shifts.  “Okay, I forgive you.”

As Jensen retreats, Jared gets prepared and settles in for his 30 minute routine.  The weird twitch in his side is back and he winces.  It happens again, 15 minutes in, and Jared can’t focus on reading the words on the page of the book he’s been trying to finish for a week.  “What the hell?”

Wincing, Jared rubs at his side.  His muscles are tenser than usual but the spasm in his side is completely new.  He pushes thinking about it away until he completes his round of Helixate.

On his way downstairs his muscles twitch again, only lower and more centered.  It isn’t worrisome enough to bother Jensen with, but he makes a mental note of it.

The rest of the morning is uneventful, and he lounges on the couch catching up on television shows with Jensen when the pain comes back.  He stiffens, unnoticed by Jensen, and contemplates the pains origin.  He checks the time and tries to focus on the show’s plot twist.

A half hour later, when the pain shoots through him again, Jensen notices.

“Jared?”

“Hmm?”  Jared screws his face in pain and discomfort as he moves to the edge of the couch, bending forwards to let his belly fall between his legs.

“What was that?”

“I dunno.  It just hurts…here.”  He runs a palm in a curve along his belly.  “I don’t think it is anything…I’m just sore and tense.”

“Can I help?”

“No, I mean, unless you want to be pregnant for a while.”

“Aww, Jay.  Come here.”  Jensen pulls Jared against him and cards his fingers through Jared’s hair in the way that makes the man purr.  “Does this help a little?”

Sighing, Jensen makes a content noise.  “Mmm Hmm…”  He rolls onto his left side and tucks a pillow under his belly, snuggling up for the time being.  He has nowhere to be and nothing more to do than stay pregnant.  Being a couch potato sounds pretty good to him.

The pains keep coming but they are irregular and unpredictable.  They’re not terrible but they are starting to agitate Jared.  By midnight, they are like Chinese water torture.  He winds up staying awake waiting for the next pain to hit.

It is why he is completely awake when the most intense pain so far hits him.  He gasps, wind knocked out of him, and braces one hand behind his back and one on his middle.  With another shocked gasp, he feels something snap inside of him.  Things click into places and he realizes that the warm appearance of liquid between his legs is not urine, or water, it’s his amniotic fluid.

“Shit.”  He rolls over and shakes Jensen.  “Jen.  Jen!  _Jensen!_ ”

Groggily and voice muffled, Jensen rolls over and smacks an uncoordinated hand out in search for Jared.  “Wha’?

“My water just broke.”

“I can get you a new one.”  Jensen yawns and settles back into bed before awkwardly sitting up.  “Your what?”

“Water broke.  Just now.”  Jared speaks louder than need be.  “Oh god…I’m in labor aren’t I?”  Jared’s eyes were wild in the dimness of their bedroom.

Now fully awake, Jensen’s hand lands in the wetness Jared warned him about when he tries to shuffle closer to Jared.  “Yeah Jay, I think you are.”

**************

Jared knew all along that he would have to spend the entirety of his labor in the hospital.  It is kind of par for the course with high risk pregnancies, and his lands near the top of that high risk list.

His water may have broken but he’s barely two centimeters dilated.

He is in for the long haul.  He thinks it is going to be fine because he is used to hospitals.

The hospital room they check him into becomes a revolving door of his specialists, nurses, and doctors.  They assure him that they have enough staff on hand to handle any problem that can arise and a stock pile of Jensen’s blood because, if everyone is being honest, Jared is going to need it.

Somewhere after the sixth hour of being poked, prodded, monitored, and watched like a hawk, Jared snaps.  Everything starts to get under his skin.  The first time nurses introduced themselves and asked how he was doing, Jared answered politely.  But at their repeated inquires, he is starting to snap.  They don’t have any idea how the cyclic nature of their actions are starting to grate on his nerves.

One hour later, Jared’s nurse lets him know that his contractions have seemed to stop on their own.  He’s hit an impasse and none of the hospital staff know how to proceed.

They can’t try Pitocin, it will most likely stress his uterus out and end in a hemorrhage.   It is a risk they can’t take.

They try Cyotec to soften his cervix, but it doesn’t get the contractions going.

Jared’s tired, having spent the whole of last night awake and trying to figure out what the pains he was experiencing – the ones he now knows were contractions – were.

He lets nurses and doctors manipulate him into a plethora of positions but they are all a no go.  Nothing happens.

They try again and Jared loses it.

“Enough!”

“Jared?”  Jensen gives the doctor an apologetic smile and puts a hand on Jared’s back.

“They have no idea what they are doing!  None of this is helping!”  Jared’s voice has a distressed vibration to it and he shoots the doctor a glare.

The doctor sighs.  “We are trying Jared.  We all knew that no one was sure what to expect.”

Falling onto the bed and cradling his middle, Jared blows his hair out of his face.  “Well, you better figure it out fast.”

The snide remark from his normally easy going patient takes the doctor aback.

When everyone other than Jensen leaves for the time being, Jared screams in frustration.  “Why won’t they just come out?!  What am I doing wrong?”

“Nothing.  You’re doing everything right.”  Jensen runs a hand over Jared’s middle.  “Do you want to walk around?  Stretch your legs and try to get things moving again?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jared walks the hospital grounds, making several laps before his middle tenses up and he has to brace himself against a wall.

“Was that a – “  Jensen holds Jared upright.

“A contraction?  Yeah.”  Jared smiles weirdly and rubs a hand protectively across the underside of his belly.  “I never thought I would be this happy to be in this type of pain.”

Jared eats his words a few hours later when he finds himself contracting regularly, but dilating slowly.  It is dragging into the nighttime hours of his second day in labor, and the novelty of contractions is starting to wear off.

Under normal circumstances, his doctors would have suggested a c-section but they don’t want to risk surgery.  Jared would bleed.  A lot.  And as long as Jared’s vitals are still good, and the twins aren’t in distress, they are going to keep that option on the back burner.

Two more hours and Jared is going out of his mind.  He writhes in the bed and puffs out pants of air.  “Huhn!”

Jensen rubs a hand up and down Jared’s arm, trying to sooth him.

“Stop touching me!”  Jared groans and covers his eyes with both hands.  When he removes them, he comes face to face with Jensen’s worried face.  “Stop looking at me!”

“Jare, I..”

“No!  Stop talking.  Stop talking to me.  Stop doing everything!”  Jared whines and tries to see past the pain working to push one of his twins lower

A nurse checking on Jared’s progress takes pity on Jensen and smiles at him understandingly.  “Don’t take it too personally hon.  I’ve seen this song and dance before.  It will be better once those two little ones are here.”

Jared glares at her.  “Shut up!  You don’t know anything about this!”  He goes back to groaning, moving his body with an odd roll of his hips like he is trying to rise above the contractions.

The nurse raises both eyebrows but stays silent.

Jensen shakes his head, covering his eyes with embarrassment momentarily before he meets the nurse’s stare.  “I’m sorry.  He’s normally not like this…ever.  He’s great.  I promise.”

“It’s okay.  I’ve dealt with worse.”

“Unless you are going to get these kids out of me, get the hell out of here.”  Jared snarls and throws an entire plastic pitcher of water at the nurse.  Missing the woman but landing it with a loud crash against the wall.

Widening her eyes, the nurse makes an exaggerated roll of her neck and lands her gaze on Jared.  “And _that_ would be the ‘worse’ I was talking about.”

In the end, Jared gets his wish anyway, because she leaves.  Though, her action has nothing to do with Jared’s threats and everything to do with the fact that she was done with her rounds.

Jensen swallows nervously.  Jared’s only five centimeters dilated and they have a long way to go.

Overnight, things get worse.  Jared gets more anxious.  He can’t stop shifting and making pained whines.  He’s exhausted but the pain is so intense that he can’t sleep.

He’s being monitored almost constantly now because things are getting intense and there is a lot of swelling and blood flow going on.  The staff watch him like a bomb about to go off.

It makes him nasty

Jared has always hated being a spectacle; it is why he always defaulted to hiding his condition or brushing it off as nothing.

He’s restless, hot, and out of his mind with pain.  He doesn’t need an audience.  Rational Jared knows that the hospital staff is trying to help.

Rational Jared is on his fifteen minute break and may be going on sabbatical soon.

In the morning, Jared hits seven centimeters and active labor is a whole new type of monster.

He’s still tired, but now he is fed up with labor.  He cries, covering his face with his much abused pillow and screams into the stuffing.

“Jared, you have to calm down.”  Jensen, who had been pacing the room for lack of something better to do with himself.

Jared throws the pillow at his husband. “I don’t _have_ to do anything.”

“Baby, it’s no good for you to stay worked up like this.  You know that.”

“You know what’s no good for me?  You letting me talk you into putting these,” he points to his middle with an angry finger, “inside of me.  That isn’t proving to be so good for me right now.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Oh?  Don’t I?”  Jared practically grows as a contraction rips through him.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“It’s okay, Jay.  Don’t fight it.”

Jared cries out again and whips his head towards Jensen.  “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.  I hate you so much.  I am going to fucking kill you once I push these kids out.”  Jared dissolves into a moan and starts panting uncontrollably.  “Ohh! Ow, ow, ow, ow!!!”

Jared makes another feral groan and a doctor from the team of specialist the hospital has put together, pops his head in.  He tries to look put together, but behind the thin disguise of professionalism, he looks scared.

“Hi Jared.  How are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m great!  Ready to run a fucking marathon.”  Jared gets a death grip on the bedrails of his hospital bed and pushes himself up.

Ignoring Jared’s sarcasm, he continues to make his way into the room.  “I want to check you out, make sure you’re not bleeding and still progressing.”

“Sure, why not.  Everyone else has had a look down there.  I should start charging.”  Jared groans as the doctor goes to move his legs mid contraction, the pain making him shut up and bite the inside of his cheek.

Almost afraid to break the news, the doctor’s words come out in stunted bursts.  “You’re still seven.”

When the fact hits Jared, he goes quiet, sarcasm dulled and anger on hold for the moment.  “Still seven?”

“Yeah.  If you still don’t make progress by the next time someone checks you, we may have to talk about other options.  Okay?  I’ll leave you two to think about that.”  He skirts out of the faster than one normally would, leaving Jared to blink in silence at Jensen.

The silence is awkward.  The room hasn’t been silent…ever.

“Jay, you okay baby?”

“Yeah, I…Jen…”  Jared’s face crumples and a tear sneaks out his eye.  “What if they have no idea what they are doing.”

Jensen’s shoulder falls with visible relief as Jared starts to sound like his old self again.  “Hey, there’s my husband.”  He makes his way to Jared and creeps onto the bed, sitting as close as he can to the man and holding his hand tightly.  “They know what they are doing Jared.  They are going to take care of you.”

“Yeah, but, _what if they don’t_.”  Jared’s nose twitches and he cries harder.  He’s so physically and emotionally exhausted that he doesn’t know which way is up anymore.  “What if they aren’t okay.”

“Stop.  Stop thinking that.  You  have never thought like that before.”

Jared went serious.  “You have to make sure they take care of them first, in case…in case things don’t go right for me.”

“Jay…”

“No, Jen…I’m tired.  I’m really tired.  I don’t know how much longer my body can do this.  And if I can’t, they are going to cut me open and then there is a chance, a big chance, that I will never meet them.”  He cries harder, breath hitching.  He feels a contraction coming on but needs to make sure Jensen understands.  “I need you to love them enough for the two of us.”

The words slap Jensen in the face and instantly, he is crying.  He licks his lips and wipes the tears away with the back of his hand.  “It’s not going to happen Jared.  It isn’t.  Stop saying that.”

“It,” Jared cruses and digs his fingernails into the meat of Jensen’s palm as the pain intensifies.  “It might.  Jensen, oh god just get these two out of me!”  Jared splays his legs on the mattress and lurches forward on the next contraction.  It feels weird, almost unbearable.  He can’t get words out so he just yells.

He yells, and yells, until Jensen finally gets someone to make sure nothing is awry.

A new doctor that hasn’t had a chance to examine Jared yet shows up.  He’s older than the rest and his presence doesn’t set Jared off.  Instead, he is almost happy that someone is trying to do something about the pain he is in.

Snapping on a pair of gloves, the older doctor makes quick work of his exam, humming in approval.  He looks shocked at what he sees.  “Jared, you’re at ten.  It means you can start pushing.”

Jared slams both hands down on the mattress and pushes himself up into an awkward seated position.  “Thank the fucking lord."

“It’s great news Jared, but you are only through part of the battle.  I need to get the rest of the team together, just in case.  Then you are good to go.”

Jared nods and Jensen looks like he is in shock.

The pain hits again and Jared’s eyes roll back.  He can barely breathe; he is so worked up and everything is going hazy.  “Hurry the fuck up!”

Jensen paces in a circle until nurses and doctors fill the room again.  Jared has been in labor for 67 hours and now that the end is actually near he is afraid to give into all his hopes that everything will be fine.  He needs Jared to be safe, but he is scared to verbalize the thought because of fear he will jinx everything they have worked so hard for.

He’s also pacing because Jared is threatening him again.  Mood changing so fast that Jensen can’t tell is Jekyll or Hyde is going to make an appearance next.

Thankfully, the same doctor that told Jared he could push, Dr. Orson, is the one who takes a place between Jared’s legs.  So far he’s agitated Jared the least and Jensen is glad he is going to help with the hands on part of the delivery.

“Okay, Jared.  You can push.”

Jared doesn’t hesitate.  He curls forward, grabbing the backs of his legs, and pushes.  The sensation is bizarre and he doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse.  It helps because his body is pushing down on its own.  He is done with labor and being about to work with that muscle contraction feels unbelievably satisfying.  It is worse because it _fucking_ hurts.

“That’s good Jared!  Nice and slow pushes.”

Jared growls, but he doesn’t say anything.  He knows they want him to bear down with slow and steady pushes, despite how much he just wants to _push, push, push._ If there is a risk of tearing and bleeding, he can’t take it.  He has to slow his body down.  It is the only piece of logic he holds on to and actually paces himself.

It is exhausting work but he does it.

After twenty minutes the doctor cheers and Jared wants to smack him.  He doesn’t need cheerleading, he needs a shot of adrenaline for energy or the fucking epidural he was denied because it was too risky.

“The baby is crowning Jared.  Almost there.”

Gritting his teeth, Jared pitches forward, added by his grip on his legs.  He yells through the entire push, sweat dripping down his spine and making him want to die.  He feels the baby budge but can’t get the head to stay out enough for each push to count.

On the next push, something shifts and everything burns.  He yelps and stops pushing when Dr. Orson warns him to.  In the interlude between pushes, he rakes his nails down Jensen’s arm as the man tries to support him.

“I thought I hated you before.  That was nothing.  I _really_ hate you now.”  He glares with pain tinged fire in his eyes and fists Jensen’s shirt.  “This is all your fucking fault.”

Jensen, immune to the threats by now, isn’t put off.  “You can hate me all you want Jay.  I don’t care.  Just help get these kids out and you can tell me how much you hate me until the end of time.”

“Oh!  I do hate you!  You fucking did this to me.”  Jared yells as a contraction consumes him.  “Shit, Jensen!  Oh god!”

The doctor bites his lip and angles himself to get a better hand position to support the crowning baby.  “Okay Jared, gentle push.  Gentle.  Gentle!”  The head eases out, sliding into the world slowly as Jared pants through the pain.  “Perfect.  Now, just keep going.  Little pushes Jared.”

Holding his breath, Jared takes Jensen’s offered hand and curls forward, pushing in slow calculated spurts.  “Get it out of me, get it out, get it out!  Oh shit!”  The pressure increases to the point that his vision blacks out for a moment before the unbelievable pressure is lifted.

“Here is your boy!”  Dr. Orson holds the baby up and he wails loud and clear.

“Oh my god!”  Jared comes back to his senses the moment he lays eyes on the crying baby.  “He’s so cute.”

The baby is covered in gunk but not blood.  He looks clean, which registers as good in Jared’s head.

“All ten fingers, and ten toes.  And he is definitely a boy!”  Dr. Orson flops the baby onto his own lap, clamping the cord and clearing his airways.

“Jensen, we have a son.”  He lets out a hic-laugh and feels his eyes flooding with emotion.

“Yeah, he’s perfect.”  Jensen is fairing just as well as Jared, emotions painted clearly on his face.  “Still hate me?”

“No, oh god no.”  Jared can’t see past his tears and he roughly wipes at his face to get a better look at his son.  He arches up, searching for his baby, but he can’t see him from his place on the bed.  “Jen, go to him.  Please?”

Jensen does.  He is speechless when he sees the little person he helped create.  The baby wails the whole time he is checked out, even while Jensen cuts his cord, but quiets down the moment he is placed in Jensen’s arms.  It is almost eerie how in tune those two facts are.

“Oh, hi you.  Hi little man.”  Jensen bounces the baby instinctively with gentle bends of his knees.  The baby yawns in response and Jensen takes it as his own personal hello.  He brings the baby over to Jared and bends his knees enough so Jared can get a clear view of his face.  “What do you think?”

“I think I love him.”  Jared runs a finger over the baby’s nose.  “I think we make good babies.”

Jensen kisses Jared’s forehead, smiling, laughing, and relieved.  He is holding his first born and so far everything is going according to plan.  He is on top of the world.  He’s lighter than air.  “What name do you think he looks like huh?  You want to go with your name?”

Looking up at Jensen with a smile, Jared nods.  “Yeah.”  He gazes down at the baby and traces his perfect bow lips.  “You’re Kyle.”

“I hate to break this up.  But we have a little problem.”  Dr. Orson’s voice cuts through the moment and both men turn towards him.

“I’m bleeding?”  Jared’s stomach falls out.  He still have to deliver his daughter, and he doesn’t want to go off track now.

“No.  No, your amazingly not.”  Dr. Orson takes his focus off Jared and goes back to examining the man’s opening.  Jared winces when the doctor confirms what he though.  “With your son out of the equation, your daughter took the opportunity to use the extra room to flip herself.”

“Meaning?”  Jensen lowers himself to the seat beside Jared’s bed, subconsciously holding Kyle closer.

“She’s not head down anymore.”

Jared lets out a frustrated sob.  “Which means what?  More laboring?”

“Unfortunately.  We are going to try to get her to flip again.  It might be uncomfortable but it is better than going for a breech birth.”

Huffing, Jared squares his jaw and nods.  He’s sore now on top of the already long set in feeling of exhaustion.  Looking towards Jensen, he visibly surrenders.  “I’m so tired Jensen.”

“I know baby.  I can’t even imagine.”

“And this hurts so bad.  _So bad_."

“I know baby.  I’m sorry.  But you did so good already.  You are exceeding expectations and breaking all the rules.”  Jensen puts their forehead’s close together and speaks softly, trying to stay calm despite the severity of the task at hand.

“What if I can’t push her out?  Or I start bleeding?  Or they have to cut her out?  I can’t Jensen.  I can’t do this anymore.”  Jared whimpers as his belly constricts and cramps up around his daughter.  One of the doctors is pressing down on him, trying to manipulate the baby to get her into a better position.  “Ugh!”

Jared digs in his heels and powers through another hour and a half of contracting, prodding, and manipulating.  He stays quiet, except for begging Jensen to stay near him.

He gets cold, swearing he is freezing even though there is sweat coating his body.

Kyle stays with them for part of the time, but Jared starts needing Jensen more and Jensen lets the nurses take him for the time being.  He practically crawls into bed with Jared and begins a never ending loop of telling Jared how much he loves him and how absolutely perfect he is doing.

A half hour later, Jared is screaming like he did right before he pushed Kyle into the world.

His daughter’s head is engaged and she’s coming faster than Kyle did.

Dr. Orson tells Jared _not_ to push.  The baby is working her way out on her own and the doctors are afraid the added sudden push will cause a rapid stretch of Jared’s opening and ultimately a tear.

“Nnngh!  Gotta push Jen.  They have to let me push!”  Jared pushes himself up on his elbows and shakes with the effort to hold back on the urge to push.

“Hold it baby.  You can do it.  Come on, deep breath.”  Jensen turns Jared’s chin towards him and breathes soothingly.  “That’s right baby.  Let go of the push and just breathe through it.”

“Oh!”  Jared’s eyes go wide as he feels his daughter’s head descending, stretching him agonizingly slow.  He can’t help it, he has to push just a little to take the edge off, and so he does.  But once he starts, he can’t stop.  The baby lurches forward and Jared gasps.  “Oh!  She’s coming!”

“Easy Jared!  Don’t push!”  Dr. Orsen curses at the tiny foretelling of a tear and helps slip the tight skin over the baby’s nose.  “She’s right here.”

The burn of the baby crowning makes Jared pant awkwardly on his own.  He clutches onto Jensen like a vice and stares at the ceiling.

“Doing so good baby.  Keep breathing like that.”  Heart breaking at the almost completely spent man on the hospital bed, Jensen prays his daughter is born soon.

Dr. Orson smiles up at them but Jared is too lost in his own world to notice.  “That’s good Jared.  Just breathe the baby out.  Perfect.  She’s coming.”

Jared keeps panting, breaths coming harsher and louder until he yelps when the shoulders pop free.  He hears the doctor say that he can finally push and he give one last whole hearted effort, bearing down with all he has left, and his daughter is born.

She comes with a rush of fluids, more than the ones that followed Kyle’s birth.  Immediately he doesn’t feel so good.  Without having to focus on the act of giving birth to his daughter, Jared is drowning.

“Jay, she’s okay."

Jensen’s voice sounds far away and Jared tries to focus on the source, on anything.

He can’t.

He’s doesn’t need to see to know he is bleeding.  He can focus on Jensen enough to see that his husband has that pale, stomach-dropped-out face.  Plus, the weird twinge in his gut that he always gets with a bleed.  He hasn’t had the feeling that he might die in a long time, not since Jensen, but suddenly it is back with a vengeance.

He hears Jensen screaming for him, sees _way too many_ doctors hovering around him, and someone telling him that he is going to be fine, “just hang on”.

He doesn’t want to die.

He wants to see if his daughter has Jensen’s eyes.

But he could want to his heart’s content, because no amount of want was going to prevent him from slipping into unconsciousness.

***************

Jared blinks his eyes open and immediately knows that he almost bleed out.  It only happened to him twice before, but it felt remarkably like this.

Or, better than this.

Because, Jared feels like crap.

He feels like every muscle in his body was electrocuted.  His head is foggy and his whole world is filled with sparks of pain.

When a baby cries, loud and new, he swears that maybe he is still dreaming.

Then he remembers how he landed himself in the hospital to begin with.

Jensen is sitting watch next to him when he comes to.  He looks like he is going to cry, but he lets out a huge relieved laugh instead.  It is exactly those type of reactions that Jared was never able to predict.

“Jared!”

Jared blinks several more times, finally being able to focus on the tiny human in Jensen’s arms.  When he goes to talk, his voice is dry and harsh from vocalizing his entire labor.  “Baby?”

“Yeah, Jay.  This is our baby.  Our little Lucy.”  Jensen gently pushes the baby’s blanket off her face and lets Jared see her sleeping form.  “She’s doing just as good as Kyle.”  Jensen finally does cry, relieved laugh turning into a shuddering sob.  “And she’s been waiting to meet you.”

“I…she…what happened?”  Jared tries to move but decides against it at the same time Jensen tries to still him.  He notices he is getting a blood transfusion, Jensen’s blood flowing into his veins.  He’s also hooked up to a pain medication drip.  He think that will be useful in the very near future.  Jensen reads his mind and pushes a button to increase the dosage for him.  “What happened Jen?”

“Your body went into shock.  Plus, you did bleed.  Not enough to be a concern for a normal person, but enough to send someone as extraordinary as you into distress, especially after the strain of labor.”

“How long?”

“Ten hours.  You were shot.  I don’t blame you.  You should sleep for a week after what you just did.  But I’m selfish.  I wanted you awake so I can know you are going to be okay, so you can see these amazing babies you delivered.”

Jared sighs as everything floods back to him in a rush.  It was too much.  He has to close his eyes and press a hand to the bridge of his nose.  The pain, the fear, the frustration all stir something up inside Jared and when he opens his eyes again, Jensen cannot figure out what is going on.

“I’m so sorry Jensen!  I’m so sorry I put you through that.”

“I’m not.  I’m not at all.  I knew you didn’t mean it.  And you really did have the shittier end of this parenting job.”  Jensen reaches out to touch Jared to make sure he is solid.  “And it’s okay.  It’s more than okay, because you did it.  You actually did it.  Kyle and Lucy are here and you’re still here.”

“Kyle, he’s…”

“He’s a hemophiliac, they tested his blood.  But he’s fine Jay.  He’s perfect.  They think it might be a mild case and we are going to have to monitor him as he grows up.  But, Jay?  He’s exactly as he should be.  He’s phenomenal.  Eats anything you put in front of him and burps like a pro.”

Jared’s heart doesn’t fall when he hears the news as he thought it would.  He knows Jensen is right.  He knows Kyle would thrive.

Lucy lets out a yowl and pumped a fist awkwardly in the air.

“And this little lady?  Well she won’t eat for anyone.  The nurses think she is just stressed but I think she has been waiting for you.”

“Jen, that’s ridiculous.”

“No.  It’s not.”  Jensen shifts and sits at the edge of his chair.  “So I am going to help you sit up, and you are going to try to prove me wrong.  But I am betting she is going to eat for her papa.  And she _really_ wants to meet you.”

Gently, with one hand cradling Lucy and the other helping to support Jared, they get Jared in a semi-upright position, careful not to jostle the tubes attached to his veins.  With a parting kiss to Lucy’s forehead, Jensen lowers the whimpering baby to Jared’s arms and makes sure she is tucked in securely before sitting back down to offer Jared a bottle.  “Here, you try.”

Jared’s heart melts when holds his daughter for the first time.  He never officially got to meet her before he blacked out but he remembers wishing he could see her eyes.

They blink up at him and his subconscious was right, they look just like Jensen’s.  They are blue, but their shape is unmistakable.  “Can you, maybe get Kyle?”

“He’s right here.  I’m keeping them in the room with us.”  Jensen stands up and makes a quick trip to the rolling cot to his left.  Kyle is asleep, fed, changed, and happily swaddled in his blanket.  When Jensen sits back down beside Jared, he sees his husband staring at the two of them.  “What?”

“They don’t look like me.”

“Hey, Jay, they are barely 12 hours old.”

“No, I mean, they don’t look like you either.  They look like both of us.”  Jared smiles.  “And I love it.”  He laughs and coos at the little girl in his arms who is half him and half Jensen.  “Hungry little Lucy?”  He teases her lips with the bottle’s nipple but she twists away from it.  He tries again but earns a similar response.  She opens her mouth to protest her father’s annoying actions and Jared plugs it with the bottle.

Lucy whines but abandons the action suddenly in favor of suckling, little lips working overtime and latching onto the bottle.  “Well look at that.”

Jensen smirks with pride.  “Told you so.”

The hand Jared has curled around Lucy is sprawled out on the baby’s chest and his daughter blindly grabs onto his finger and holds on as she ate.

“Oh Lucy!  You’re so sweet.”  Jared nuzzles her hair, dark like his, and kisses her.  “Stay this sweet? Always?”  He blinks away tears, feeling sappy and not being able to fight against it.  “We’re going to be okay.”

“Yeah.  We are Jared.”

Jared shakes his head in disbelief.  “Thank you.  Thank you for teaching me that I can have everything I ever wanted but didn’t know I could actually have.  And thanks for having the patience to give me every one of those things.”

Jensen laughs.  “Oh man, Jared.  You have no idea how happy I am to have this part of you back again.”  Jensen cups his smile with one hand before leaning forward and kissing Jared deeply.  “You’re welcome.  For everything.  But you do know I feel the same way, so I guess we are even.”

Jared sighs, content and without worry for the first time in 35 weeks.  “It’s not a game Jensen.  I’m not keeping score.  But I am, and always will be, glad you were the one to pick me up off the sidewalk and see past the rush of blood.”

Laughing again, Jensen responds with a kiss.  “Let’s just not make a habit of bleeding thing?  Okay?”

“Deal.” Jared smiles and thinks, that with newborn twins, there isn’t going to be a lot of time for bleeding anyway.


End file.
